Think Happy Thoughts

No snooty article commentary this time. Not that it isn't fun and all but occasionally I have an original thought. Amazing right?

STOP THE FLOPPINESS! I can't believe the NBA plans on fining on Erick Dampier for saying he's gonna put Tony Parker on his back. Tony Parker is a vagina. His vagina-y style of basketball is ruining basketball. He was the first of the pussy point guard breed that is ruining basketball. These are the guys that drive to the hoop, jump to the side, then purposely fall flailing to the floor in hopes of getting a foul call. I absolutely despise it. Nash does it as he's gotten older, Devin Harris does it, Rondo does it as bad as Parker. If I'm a coach against one these guys, I instruct my players to collapse on him on every drive and basically sandwich him every time he jumps in the air. That will teach them to try to turn basketball into soccer.

Percy Harvin and Brandon Tate tested positive for marijuana at the NFL combine. They are also rumored to drink alcohol and associate with loose women. Any NFL team would be foolish to draft them.

What the fuck is wrong with Isaiah Thomas's eyebrows? It looks like he has two sets of eye brows or something, I can't really describe it. I bet that's why Chris McKendry grilled him on sportscenter. She hated his weird eyebrows.

Kudos to the Bulls for stealing a game from the Boston Bennett Salvatores. They almost took another one but Steve Javie and his crew saw to that. And I'm tired of hearing about how Steve Javie is one of the best refs in the business, if people know a referee's name it's because he's an arrogant douche or grossly incompetent. Both are bad qualities for a supposedly unbiased person.

I know I have a very small reach, but I feel a need to dispel the myth that Greg Paulus is going to Michigan to play QB. He worked out for them once. Sources say Michigan is not interested. Michigan should not be interested because Tate Forcier is younger, just as good, and has had more time to learn the offense. I don't want anybody else to ask me my opinion on this whole situation because they know I'm a Michigan fan. Get up to date folks. And yes, this is largely ESPN's fault for hyping this story and then not reporting that it's over.

These ramblings were brought to you by Eggo Waffles. Eggo Waffles, for when your house is completely fucking out of food.