Hell Yeah! That's how you win a 1 game playoff. Hats off to Sox fans for the full blackout (the only intimidating color-out) and getting on there feet for 2-2 counts in the first inning. The team rallied behind them and the place was rocking when Griffey JR gunned out whoever that was at the plate and when Big Jim hit an 800 foot home run. Seriously did you see that thing? That's a "F*** You!" homer if one ever existed.
Hats off to Johnny Danks and Mark Buerhle for throwing a combined 15 innings of 1 run ball on Sunday and Tuesday on short rest. I feel a lot better about the playoff rotation.
I neglected to mention (purposely because I didn't want to jinx it) I was at the Sox game on sunday. Sox fans are the most underrated in all of sports. Tailgaters before the game (won't see that Wrigley) and this: 6th inning of a 3-1 game some guy in a sailor get up tries to start the wave. He comes over and starts yelling us to get up. Immediately, everyone around us starts yelling "Sit down!" or "Take that sh*t to Wrigley!" or simply "Shut the f*** up!" I HATE the wave. HATE it. There is no quicker way to tell how disinterested or awful a fan base is by how much they enjoy the wave. In an unrelated story, the wave is quite common at Padres and Cubs games.
AJ Pierzynski is the man. The James Posey of baseball, only more so.
It was a good week for me. Sox rally to take the division, Michigan curb stomps Wisconsin's title dreams with one of the greatest comebacks ever (F*** you Bret Bielema! I f***ing hate you! I hate you so much!), and the Bears took down the Eagles with a goal line stand. This may have been the greatest 4 consecutive sports days of my life. And if you count my intramural football team's upset victory over the top team to move to 7-0, it's been the greatest sports week of my life. Take that Bob Cook.
Dennis Eckersley is on my TV analyzing baseball (I can't hear because I'm currently blasting 3OH!3, a great band you should check out) and he looks like a 70's porn star. I think Jason Giambi's attempt to bring back this look singlehandedly destroyed the Yanks' playoff hopes.
I will henceforth be known as Mr. Make It Rain On Them Hoes. Props to Lil Wayne for creating that. I don't know if that's intentionally hilarious, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Who's creepier: Samuel L. Jackson or that chocolate man from the new Axe commercials? The chocolate man haunts me every time I shut my eyes, but Jackson's performance in Lakeview Terrace taught me that if he I marry interracially, he will come to my house with a chainsaw and cut my plants. I'll give a slight edge to the chocolate man, because if I saw him I would freak out and try to kill him. If I saw Jackson I would simply avoid eye contact and not make any motions that display dominance.
That new movie with Michael Cera and the psycho daughter from 40 Year Old Virgin could not look less appealing. Both of them are utterly awful actors, who only play one whiny loser character a piece, and I know from experience that Michael Cera is a total douche. Seriously, a giant-mega-rolling down the street kind of douche.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Upset City
Down go the Trojans! Down go the Trojans! Never underestimate the letdown game. After beating down Ohio State, USC stumbled against a different OSU, the Beavers from Corvallis. This is why Pete Carroll is not a great coach, he is quickly becoming Lloyd Carr where every year you can guarantee a loss to a beatable team. Carroll is too nice, you need a son of a bitch who will tear his team a new ass early when they start playing the letdown game.
The Rays clinched today. I don't like them in the playoffs though. Boston or Anaheim is coming out of the AL.
I would like to see the White Sox make the playoffs, but their scouting department blew it in the Twins series. Here's the scene: Up 6-4 in the bottom of the 8th of the final game of the series. A win pretty much seals the post season. The Twins proceed to hit 2 crap doubles down the line and a triple. My question is, how in the fucking world are you not guarding the lines? Denard Span and Carlos Gomez aren't doubling to the gaps, they're hitting the ball down the line and taking second on pure speed. You have to account for that. Thumbs down right there. My other big thumbs down comes courtesy of Hawk Harrelson. Hawk correctly pointed out that whenever a Twins pitcher gets behind 2-0, they throw a "get me over" breaking ball. And the Sox players took every single one of these. If you know what's coming like that, you have to swing and you have to get a hit. Hell, stick a damn TV in the dugout, turn on the game and listen to what the damn announcers are saying because they know what's going on.
Has anyone aged worse than John Elway? Saw a picture of him today and I bet he greatly resembles the current state of Barbaro's corpse. Yeesh.
The Mariners could hire Kim Ng MLB's first female GM. I'm positively tingling over the possible sexual jokes. "Kim Ng resigns Ichiro for his bat." "Ng raves about Putz's heat." "Kim Ng acquires Johnson in 3-way." Oh yes, it will be a good day.
Looks like OJ is going to jail this time. If this trial doesn't prove he was crazy and murdered his wife, I don't know what will.
I can't see a real upset this week in college football, but watch Mississippi State-LSU. MSU gave Auburn a hell of a game, they lost 3-2, and LSU is coming off a big win. Fear the letdown game. FEAR IT!
You should also watch Alabama-Georgia. I predict a Georgia victory. Alabama is a really young team and they haven't proved to me that they are an elite team yet. Georgia was the second best team in the country last year (they lost out on the national championship due to a horrendous slip up against Troy) and they look like the team to beat right now.
What should I do about the Bears? On one hand, their an incompetent jackass of an official away from being 2-1 and tied on top of the division. They can easily make the playoffs and their defense is great. On the other hand, they have no chance of winning a Super Bowl and going to the playoffs will only make them worse next year. Jerry Angelo is a terrible GM and very few people have called him on this. He drafted Garrett Wolfe and Dan Bazuin in consecutive rounds on the first day for goodness sake. Both of those guys would have been there in rounds 5, 6, or 7. There is hope though for the offense as both Jeremy Maclin and Michael Crabtree should declare for the draft and then we can pick up a legitimate wideout. It's also a strong class for the O-Line but the quarterbacks suck out loud.
The government is voting on a bill to grant a posthumous pardon to boxer Jack Johnson. The man has been dead 60 years, I would worry about that 700 billion dollar bailout first.
If Ben could write an article that would be cool. Otherwise he shall no longer be listed as a contributor to a site that a maximum of 3 people read. I'm playing hardball now.
Speaking of harball, where is Keanu Reeves? I expect something crazy out of him in the next few years. Perhaps a drug trip gone horrendously awry.
I will thank Bill Simmons to stop making inane rules. That is my territory. This week's rule is that no man over the age of 10 is allowed to put ketchup on a hot dog. Anybody caught doing so shall be forced to perform a dancing rendition of "I'm a little teapot" like the child he is.
The Rays clinched today. I don't like them in the playoffs though. Boston or Anaheim is coming out of the AL.
I would like to see the White Sox make the playoffs, but their scouting department blew it in the Twins series. Here's the scene: Up 6-4 in the bottom of the 8th of the final game of the series. A win pretty much seals the post season. The Twins proceed to hit 2 crap doubles down the line and a triple. My question is, how in the fucking world are you not guarding the lines? Denard Span and Carlos Gomez aren't doubling to the gaps, they're hitting the ball down the line and taking second on pure speed. You have to account for that. Thumbs down right there. My other big thumbs down comes courtesy of Hawk Harrelson. Hawk correctly pointed out that whenever a Twins pitcher gets behind 2-0, they throw a "get me over" breaking ball. And the Sox players took every single one of these. If you know what's coming like that, you have to swing and you have to get a hit. Hell, stick a damn TV in the dugout, turn on the game and listen to what the damn announcers are saying because they know what's going on.
Has anyone aged worse than John Elway? Saw a picture of him today and I bet he greatly resembles the current state of Barbaro's corpse. Yeesh.
The Mariners could hire Kim Ng MLB's first female GM. I'm positively tingling over the possible sexual jokes. "Kim Ng resigns Ichiro for his bat." "Ng raves about Putz's heat." "Kim Ng acquires Johnson in 3-way." Oh yes, it will be a good day.
Looks like OJ is going to jail this time. If this trial doesn't prove he was crazy and murdered his wife, I don't know what will.
I can't see a real upset this week in college football, but watch Mississippi State-LSU. MSU gave Auburn a hell of a game, they lost 3-2, and LSU is coming off a big win. Fear the letdown game. FEAR IT!
You should also watch Alabama-Georgia. I predict a Georgia victory. Alabama is a really young team and they haven't proved to me that they are an elite team yet. Georgia was the second best team in the country last year (they lost out on the national championship due to a horrendous slip up against Troy) and they look like the team to beat right now.
What should I do about the Bears? On one hand, their an incompetent jackass of an official away from being 2-1 and tied on top of the division. They can easily make the playoffs and their defense is great. On the other hand, they have no chance of winning a Super Bowl and going to the playoffs will only make them worse next year. Jerry Angelo is a terrible GM and very few people have called him on this. He drafted Garrett Wolfe and Dan Bazuin in consecutive rounds on the first day for goodness sake. Both of those guys would have been there in rounds 5, 6, or 7. There is hope though for the offense as both Jeremy Maclin and Michael Crabtree should declare for the draft and then we can pick up a legitimate wideout. It's also a strong class for the O-Line but the quarterbacks suck out loud.
The government is voting on a bill to grant a posthumous pardon to boxer Jack Johnson. The man has been dead 60 years, I would worry about that 700 billion dollar bailout first.
If Ben could write an article that would be cool. Otherwise he shall no longer be listed as a contributor to a site that a maximum of 3 people read. I'm playing hardball now.
Speaking of harball, where is Keanu Reeves? I expect something crazy out of him in the next few years. Perhaps a drug trip gone horrendously awry.
I will thank Bill Simmons to stop making inane rules. That is my territory. This week's rule is that no man over the age of 10 is allowed to put ketchup on a hot dog. Anybody caught doing so shall be forced to perform a dancing rendition of "I'm a little teapot" like the child he is.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I Support Ed Hochuli
The man screwed up bad. Cut him some slack, San Diego still blew that game in every manner possible. It sucks, it's not college football where you can't come back from a loss, and he admitted the mistake right away. The rule that a whistle nullifies a play is dumb. Fix it and cut Ed, one of the officials who deserves respect, a break. I was glad to see that an ESPN sportsnation poll showed 94 percent of people agree with me. The other six can make love to an old shoe.
Pat Forde may alos make love to an old shoe. I hold a particular disdain for his college football article, one of the reasons this site exists is because I think college football analysts are in large part demented, but I have to call him on saying that Big 12 QBs are the gold standard for college quarterbacks. There are a lot of system quarterbacks, ask anyone who has watched Chase Daniel, Graham Harrell, Todd Reesing, Josh Freeman, or Zac Johnson play. There are good teams that have played garbage teams like Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska. The rest don't even merit mention. If the Big 12 is really the quarterback cradle, why don't we hear any NFL draft buzz about them? Stats, which is what Forde uses to prove his point, are a poor indicator of skill or greatness in college football. Did somebody say Colt Brennan? I swear someone just mentioned Colt Brennan for some reason.
I started writing this friday, before incompetent officiating cost the Bears a win today. Here's the scenario: Some no-name Bucs lineman started throwing punches at Adewale Ogunleye while he was on the ground after a failed third down attempt in OT. A scuffle occurs, and about 10 Bucs players rush the field. Peanut Tillman comes over and promptly drops one Buc while several other scuffles occur. Only Tillman gets a 15 yard penalty and a first down. Three questions: How do you miss the blatant punches being thrown at Ogunleye while he's on the ground? How do you ignore the fact that several Bucs players came on to the field and jumped into the fray? How do you not call only Tillman when you know it's going to turn the game around and the Bucs were clearly at fault? Are these refs retarded? (That doesn't count as a fourth question because I am speaking rhetorically and know that the refs are retarded). Here's an idea for officials: if nobody would call it in a pickup game, you don't call it. Unless it's a spectacularly cheap shot, don't call it.
College essays suck my balls.
It's time for a new funny show. Family Guy, The Simpsons, and South Park haven't been funny in 3 years now. Futurama is underrated but falls short. I love seasons 1-5 of Scrubs but 6 and 7 were disappointing. Drama shows are always hamstrung by the fact that the good guy must win and I can't keep interest because of that. Get on it Hollywood.
What was the Ryder Cup upset equivalent to in terms of a real sport?
Charlie Weis getting caught cheating is funny. Slob.
I may not write again soon as I have a busy week trying out for the Steelers offensive line, Bears quarterback, Raiders head coach, and international assassin bent on taking out Jeremy Trueblood. Look his sorry ass up.
Pat Forde may alos make love to an old shoe. I hold a particular disdain for his college football article, one of the reasons this site exists is because I think college football analysts are in large part demented, but I have to call him on saying that Big 12 QBs are the gold standard for college quarterbacks. There are a lot of system quarterbacks, ask anyone who has watched Chase Daniel, Graham Harrell, Todd Reesing, Josh Freeman, or Zac Johnson play. There are good teams that have played garbage teams like Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska. The rest don't even merit mention. If the Big 12 is really the quarterback cradle, why don't we hear any NFL draft buzz about them? Stats, which is what Forde uses to prove his point, are a poor indicator of skill or greatness in college football. Did somebody say Colt Brennan? I swear someone just mentioned Colt Brennan for some reason.
I started writing this friday, before incompetent officiating cost the Bears a win today. Here's the scenario: Some no-name Bucs lineman started throwing punches at Adewale Ogunleye while he was on the ground after a failed third down attempt in OT. A scuffle occurs, and about 10 Bucs players rush the field. Peanut Tillman comes over and promptly drops one Buc while several other scuffles occur. Only Tillman gets a 15 yard penalty and a first down. Three questions: How do you miss the blatant punches being thrown at Ogunleye while he's on the ground? How do you ignore the fact that several Bucs players came on to the field and jumped into the fray? How do you not call only Tillman when you know it's going to turn the game around and the Bucs were clearly at fault? Are these refs retarded? (That doesn't count as a fourth question because I am speaking rhetorically and know that the refs are retarded). Here's an idea for officials: if nobody would call it in a pickup game, you don't call it. Unless it's a spectacularly cheap shot, don't call it.
College essays suck my balls.
It's time for a new funny show. Family Guy, The Simpsons, and South Park haven't been funny in 3 years now. Futurama is underrated but falls short. I love seasons 1-5 of Scrubs but 6 and 7 were disappointing. Drama shows are always hamstrung by the fact that the good guy must win and I can't keep interest because of that. Get on it Hollywood.
What was the Ryder Cup upset equivalent to in terms of a real sport?
Charlie Weis getting caught cheating is funny. Slob.
I may not write again soon as I have a busy week trying out for the Steelers offensive line, Bears quarterback, Raiders head coach, and international assassin bent on taking out Jeremy Trueblood. Look his sorry ass up.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Public Apology
I would like to apologize for taking so much time between articles. I am better than that. The streak will continue since this is not technically an article, rather a collection of my thoughts and truths.
NASCAR announced it would not penalize one of its drivers for steroid use. This is the greatest piece of evidence I can point to as to why NASCAR is not a sport. Steroids help in sports. My way of defining a sport actually has nothing to do with the game. I define a sport as an activity whose participants you would fear getting in a fight with. I'll be honest, I don't even want to get in a fight with an NFL kicker, most of whom clock in at 6'0", 200 lbs. However if Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Phil Mickelson, or Vijay Singh made a pass at my wife, I don't think I would hesitate to instigate a brawl. Granted Tiger Woods is an exception, but there are exceptions to every rule.
I will be irate if Michigan loses to Notre Dame tomorrow. Absolutely furious. Notre Dame sucks. Michigan is bad, but Notre Dame sucks. I have actually heard people say that Notre Dame's comeback win against San Diego State University was a good thing because they showed guts in the fourth. Typical, people are always blowing bubbles up ND's ass. Here's a stat, in the past 6 years, Notre Dame has beaten 6 teams ranked in the final AP poll. In that same span, they have gone to 2 BCS bowls. Since '02 they've basically been Boise State (they schedule a ton of creampuffs every year), only Boise State would probably kick their ass the last 2 years plus this one.
Is anyone else disgusted by the way ESPN is covering Vince Young's situation? Back the #### down, you have no business advertising people's most private faults to millions. From the bottom of my heart, #### you to whoever dug up that report and whoever wrote the article.
I'm giving my two most anti-climactic games of the year to this weekend's OSU-USC and NYJ vs. NE. People had circled the Bucks/Trojans as a clash of the titans since the bowls ended last year, but is anyone giving OSU a shot to win? I don't, they won't be able to run the ball at all and Boeckman will make a couple costly mistakes. I was interested in the Jets/Pats game since Favre got shipped out, but now with Brady gone, you have to like the Jets.
West Virginia is regretting the 6 year contract it gave to Bill Stewart as of last week. I saw nothing from his coaching abilities that impressed me.
Did I mention I'm rooting for the Buckeyes tomorrow. I want to see Pete Carroll's "Does anyone have any batteries?" face. If you don't get the reference, youtube the Nike Sparq Training commercials. You'll know it when you see it.
Cliff Lee is a beast. Johan Santana is a beast. Brandon Webb is a beast. CC Sabathia is a beast.
Trivia question of the week: Where the hell is Matt Leinart? I hated him at USC and now he's flopping in the NFL. Smug sense of self satisfaction, which is OK because he has 40 million dollars. Everybody wins.
Night Night.
NASCAR announced it would not penalize one of its drivers for steroid use. This is the greatest piece of evidence I can point to as to why NASCAR is not a sport. Steroids help in sports. My way of defining a sport actually has nothing to do with the game. I define a sport as an activity whose participants you would fear getting in a fight with. I'll be honest, I don't even want to get in a fight with an NFL kicker, most of whom clock in at 6'0", 200 lbs. However if Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Phil Mickelson, or Vijay Singh made a pass at my wife, I don't think I would hesitate to instigate a brawl. Granted Tiger Woods is an exception, but there are exceptions to every rule.
I will be irate if Michigan loses to Notre Dame tomorrow. Absolutely furious. Notre Dame sucks. Michigan is bad, but Notre Dame sucks. I have actually heard people say that Notre Dame's comeback win against San Diego State University was a good thing because they showed guts in the fourth. Typical, people are always blowing bubbles up ND's ass. Here's a stat, in the past 6 years, Notre Dame has beaten 6 teams ranked in the final AP poll. In that same span, they have gone to 2 BCS bowls. Since '02 they've basically been Boise State (they schedule a ton of creampuffs every year), only Boise State would probably kick their ass the last 2 years plus this one.
Is anyone else disgusted by the way ESPN is covering Vince Young's situation? Back the #### down, you have no business advertising people's most private faults to millions. From the bottom of my heart, #### you to whoever dug up that report and whoever wrote the article.
I'm giving my two most anti-climactic games of the year to this weekend's OSU-USC and NYJ vs. NE. People had circled the Bucks/Trojans as a clash of the titans since the bowls ended last year, but is anyone giving OSU a shot to win? I don't, they won't be able to run the ball at all and Boeckman will make a couple costly mistakes. I was interested in the Jets/Pats game since Favre got shipped out, but now with Brady gone, you have to like the Jets.
West Virginia is regretting the 6 year contract it gave to Bill Stewart as of last week. I saw nothing from his coaching abilities that impressed me.
Did I mention I'm rooting for the Buckeyes tomorrow. I want to see Pete Carroll's "Does anyone have any batteries?" face. If you don't get the reference, youtube the Nike Sparq Training commercials. You'll know it when you see it.
Cliff Lee is a beast. Johan Santana is a beast. Brandon Webb is a beast. CC Sabathia is a beast.
Trivia question of the week: Where the hell is Matt Leinart? I hated him at USC and now he's flopping in the NFL. Smug sense of self satisfaction, which is OK because he has 40 million dollars. Everybody wins.
Night Night.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Endzone Shenanigans And Celebrations We Need To See
First, let's establish what makes a touchdown celebration great: it should make every member of the opposing team despise you, it should involve the ball, it should involve multiple teammates, no props, and it should garner at least 30 yards in penalties. Said celebrations may only be performed on special occasions: Michigan somehow kicking the **** out of Ohio State this year, the Jets taking down the New England Evil Patriots, Miami ending Florida's national title hopes (this is where I most expect it to happen), etc. With that in mind, consider the following celebrations:
1. Guy who scores takes off his helmet (15 yards right there), two other guys come over and take their helmets off (another 30 yards). The scorer hides the football under one helmet, mixes them up, and they play "Which helmet is the ball in?" like on the jumbotron. Bonus points if they are actually playing that game while the celebration occurs. This could very well be a 60 yard penalty.
2. A Charlie Brown homage in which the scorer sets up for a field goal, the heaviest guy on the field runs up for the kick, only to have the ball pulled away. It is essential that the man falls square on his ass and that he is the biggest guy out there. If the ball is run out to the 20 yard line, it should pick up 2 unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, thus meeting the 30 yard minimum.
3. One player grabs a pylon (not a prop because it's on the field) and gets into a batting stance. The other guy goes go into a windup and brushes him back, setting off a mound charging "rumble". A third guy comes in and breaks up and dramatically tosses them from the game. (I'm counting on a second penalty after the third guy dramatically tosses them to meet the 30).
4. Feel free to post your own in the comment section, I'm sure you feel you can do better.
There are no college football games this week that feature 2 Top 25 teams or a real rivalry. Which begs the question: Why are they playing games that don't have any real meaning? Scrap the cupcake schedules and bring on Conference Showdown (see the Wish List column if you don't remember).
Ben's actually going to write an article. It will be about the NFL and feature picks. I may pick against him if I find the will to do so.
Remember where I said "I'm sure South Carolina is a bad team"? Yeah well they were ranked 24 this week before losing to Vanderbilt. I wish I made my upset picks sooner because that was more obvious than the upcoming random Family Guy joke that makes no sense and goes on for way too long. Honestly, has a show ever fallen as far in 2 seasons as Family Guy did?
Upset Alert: I only have 1 this week, and it's the previosly mentioned Florida-Miami game. Why? Miami has loads of inexperienced talent and their strengths are their runnning game. How do you beat a high powered spread offense? With a good ground attack and taleneted DBs. Tim Tebow is a bad passer who rarely makes more than one read. If the hot man is covered, he checks down or takes off. That's fine but an athletic secondary can lull him to sleep and pounce to create turnovers. I wouldn't be shocked if Timmy T threw 2 picks this game. I expect epic celebratory shenanigans should Miami pull off the upset in The Swamp.
Lock: West Virginia over ECU. ECU got the kiss of death because ESPN put WVU on upset alert. I watched them last week, they have a gamebreaker at wide receiver and a quarterback who can make plays with his feet. They also makes dumb mistakes and don't play great fundamental football. People say they were a better team than VT, and that's questionable. VT is always overrated, but ECU caught a huge break on the blocked punt. Expect them to get rolled by a much more talented West Virginia team.
Underdog Who Covers: Southern Miss at Auburn. Auburn's all banged up. I don't know how good Southern Miss is this year, they were decent last year, and I don't believe very much in Auburn.
Feel that rush of wind on your skin? That was the truth train screaming by. I'll try not to run you over with it.
1. Guy who scores takes off his helmet (15 yards right there), two other guys come over and take their helmets off (another 30 yards). The scorer hides the football under one helmet, mixes them up, and they play "Which helmet is the ball in?" like on the jumbotron. Bonus points if they are actually playing that game while the celebration occurs. This could very well be a 60 yard penalty.
2. A Charlie Brown homage in which the scorer sets up for a field goal, the heaviest guy on the field runs up for the kick, only to have the ball pulled away. It is essential that the man falls square on his ass and that he is the biggest guy out there. If the ball is run out to the 20 yard line, it should pick up 2 unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, thus meeting the 30 yard minimum.
3. One player grabs a pylon (not a prop because it's on the field) and gets into a batting stance. The other guy goes go into a windup and brushes him back, setting off a mound charging "rumble". A third guy comes in and breaks up and dramatically tosses them from the game. (I'm counting on a second penalty after the third guy dramatically tosses them to meet the 30).
4. Feel free to post your own in the comment section, I'm sure you feel you can do better.
There are no college football games this week that feature 2 Top 25 teams or a real rivalry. Which begs the question: Why are they playing games that don't have any real meaning? Scrap the cupcake schedules and bring on Conference Showdown (see the Wish List column if you don't remember).
Ben's actually going to write an article. It will be about the NFL and feature picks. I may pick against him if I find the will to do so.
Remember where I said "I'm sure South Carolina is a bad team"? Yeah well they were ranked 24 this week before losing to Vanderbilt. I wish I made my upset picks sooner because that was more obvious than the upcoming random Family Guy joke that makes no sense and goes on for way too long. Honestly, has a show ever fallen as far in 2 seasons as Family Guy did?
Upset Alert: I only have 1 this week, and it's the previosly mentioned Florida-Miami game. Why? Miami has loads of inexperienced talent and their strengths are their runnning game. How do you beat a high powered spread offense? With a good ground attack and taleneted DBs. Tim Tebow is a bad passer who rarely makes more than one read. If the hot man is covered, he checks down or takes off. That's fine but an athletic secondary can lull him to sleep and pounce to create turnovers. I wouldn't be shocked if Timmy T threw 2 picks this game. I expect epic celebratory shenanigans should Miami pull off the upset in The Swamp.
Lock: West Virginia over ECU. ECU got the kiss of death because ESPN put WVU on upset alert. I watched them last week, they have a gamebreaker at wide receiver and a quarterback who can make plays with his feet. They also makes dumb mistakes and don't play great fundamental football. People say they were a better team than VT, and that's questionable. VT is always overrated, but ECU caught a huge break on the blocked punt. Expect them to get rolled by a much more talented West Virginia team.
Underdog Who Covers: Southern Miss at Auburn. Auburn's all banged up. I don't know how good Southern Miss is this year, they were decent last year, and I don't believe very much in Auburn.
Feel that rush of wind on your skin? That was the truth train screaming by. I'll try not to run you over with it.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Can We Get A Decent College Football Announcer?
Dear ABC,
You are ABC, you should be able to afford a group of commentators who are likeable and actually know something about college football. Please stop hiring former football players. As everyone knows, they are a spectacularly stupid and inarticulate group of people. Even if they know what's happening, they can't explain it. I am tired of muting the television during football games.
I watched Michigan-Utah and had to listen to two no-name jackasses who made fun of each other the entire game instead of explaining the x's and o's. They clearly weren't paying attention to the game, as they kept saying Nick Sheridan was doing a decent job at quarter. Sheridan went 11-19 with a fumble, INT, and TD, so if you weren't paying attention that's not awful. But if you were paying attention, you would've noticed that Utah dropped 3 picks, had a fourth called back on pass interference, and Greg Matthews plucked another one away on a jump ball. He not completed one pass that was in the air for more than 7 yards, the aforementioned jump ball, and Utah in no way respected his ability to throw the deep ball. Without a dual-threat quarterback, the spread requires the pass to set up the run. If a team doesn't respect the deep ball, the Michigan offense isn't going anywhere. Steven Threet came in and made freshmen errors, throwing behing guys and over their heads when the pressure was on, but he threw a perfect 32 yard fade touchdown. I heavily prefer Threet to Sheridan.
For the first time in years, I'm not pissed about a Michigan loss. I wasn't shocked, but please stop mentioning the Wolverines in the week 1 losers.They lost the game, but what expectations did they fail by doing so? The team has 5 starting seniors, 3 of those being on the D-line. The basic goals for the team this year are to win 9 games, beat s***-talking Notre Dame, and improve in the new system. The highest goals are to upset Ohio State and win 10 games. They won't win 10 and probably won't win 9, but all of those goals are still attainable. I wanted Michigan to win, but I wasn't shocked that they lost. They could have very well lost even if Lloyd and all his guys were there because Utah runs a spread with a dual-threat quarterback. There were a lot of positives in that game:
1. For the first time ever, Michigan shut down a spread offense. They gave up 28 yards in the second half and adjusted after an awful first half. It excites me that we have a coaching staff that can actually adjust and one that knows how to stop a spread.
2. The defense wasn't winded in the fourth quarter. Another first ever in my lifetime.
3. Obi Ezeh and Donovan Warren are superstars in the making and both are true sophomores. Sam McGuffie showed flashes of what he can do in space. Steven Threet can throw a good deep ball. This team has some talented underclassmen.
I don't expect this team to win every game, but I do expect them to be in every game. I say 7-8 wins this year with higher expectations next year.
Who went 2-3 picking the underdog? That's right I did. I'll be picking all the big games in the future, as well as my upset alerts, and locks. Hopefully Ben will take me up on a challenge with some sort of ridiculous bet involved. I've found I have a penchant for shenanigans.
Adam Rittenberg runs a good blog on ESPN about the Big 10.
The Pats are going to lose 5 games this year. The loss of Donte Stallworth is going to hurt Wes Welker's game and more pressure on a somewhat fragile Laurence Maroney. The secondary is AWFUL. They essentially have 3 undersized linebackers at safety in Tank Williams, Brandon Meriweather, and Rodney Harrison. The cornerbacks are a group of nickelbacks and only 1 is listed at 6 feet, which means none actually crack 5'11". They vastly improved their linebackers and the D-line is again very good, but those groups are going to have to generate a lot of pressure in order to cover up for a weak secondary.
KABOOSH!! You feel that. That's the truth being layed down on you. Glad I could make your day.
You are ABC, you should be able to afford a group of commentators who are likeable and actually know something about college football. Please stop hiring former football players. As everyone knows, they are a spectacularly stupid and inarticulate group of people. Even if they know what's happening, they can't explain it. I am tired of muting the television during football games.
I watched Michigan-Utah and had to listen to two no-name jackasses who made fun of each other the entire game instead of explaining the x's and o's. They clearly weren't paying attention to the game, as they kept saying Nick Sheridan was doing a decent job at quarter. Sheridan went 11-19 with a fumble, INT, and TD, so if you weren't paying attention that's not awful. But if you were paying attention, you would've noticed that Utah dropped 3 picks, had a fourth called back on pass interference, and Greg Matthews plucked another one away on a jump ball. He not completed one pass that was in the air for more than 7 yards, the aforementioned jump ball, and Utah in no way respected his ability to throw the deep ball. Without a dual-threat quarterback, the spread requires the pass to set up the run. If a team doesn't respect the deep ball, the Michigan offense isn't going anywhere. Steven Threet came in and made freshmen errors, throwing behing guys and over their heads when the pressure was on, but he threw a perfect 32 yard fade touchdown. I heavily prefer Threet to Sheridan.
For the first time in years, I'm not pissed about a Michigan loss. I wasn't shocked, but please stop mentioning the Wolverines in the week 1 losers.They lost the game, but what expectations did they fail by doing so? The team has 5 starting seniors, 3 of those being on the D-line. The basic goals for the team this year are to win 9 games, beat s***-talking Notre Dame, and improve in the new system. The highest goals are to upset Ohio State and win 10 games. They won't win 10 and probably won't win 9, but all of those goals are still attainable. I wanted Michigan to win, but I wasn't shocked that they lost. They could have very well lost even if Lloyd and all his guys were there because Utah runs a spread with a dual-threat quarterback. There were a lot of positives in that game:
1. For the first time ever, Michigan shut down a spread offense. They gave up 28 yards in the second half and adjusted after an awful first half. It excites me that we have a coaching staff that can actually adjust and one that knows how to stop a spread.
2. The defense wasn't winded in the fourth quarter. Another first ever in my lifetime.
3. Obi Ezeh and Donovan Warren are superstars in the making and both are true sophomores. Sam McGuffie showed flashes of what he can do in space. Steven Threet can throw a good deep ball. This team has some talented underclassmen.
I don't expect this team to win every game, but I do expect them to be in every game. I say 7-8 wins this year with higher expectations next year.
Who went 2-3 picking the underdog? That's right I did. I'll be picking all the big games in the future, as well as my upset alerts, and locks. Hopefully Ben will take me up on a challenge with some sort of ridiculous bet involved. I've found I have a penchant for shenanigans.
Adam Rittenberg runs a good blog on ESPN about the Big 10.
The Pats are going to lose 5 games this year. The loss of Donte Stallworth is going to hurt Wes Welker's game and more pressure on a somewhat fragile Laurence Maroney. The secondary is AWFUL. They essentially have 3 undersized linebackers at safety in Tank Williams, Brandon Meriweather, and Rodney Harrison. The cornerbacks are a group of nickelbacks and only 1 is listed at 6 feet, which means none actually crack 5'11". They vastly improved their linebackers and the D-line is again very good, but those groups are going to have to generate a lot of pressure in order to cover up for a weak secondary.
KABOOSH!! You feel that. That's the truth being layed down on you. Glad I could make your day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)