Ken Griffey Jr.

The White Sox traded for legendary OF Ken Griffey Junior today, apparently under the impression that it is 1998, rather than 2008. The White Sox must also believe that he can play in the outfield still, because they already have a left-handed hitting DH in Jim Thome. One AL executive said “he can’t play”, here’s hoping maybe he can.

Deng signs

It looks like the Bulls finally re-signed Luol Deng today, we all knew the Bulls liked him but it’s about time. Deng will make around 70 million over 6 years, which is similar to the yearly salary he would have made had he accepted the 5 year, 57 million dollar offer last October.

Apparently, Jerry Reinsdorf led the negotiations to speed it up, which worries me. When John Paxson took the team over in 2004, the team was centered around Eddy Curry, Jamal Crawford, and Eddie Robinson. He quickly made a series of brilliant sign and trades, and drafted well. This team has been assembled by him, but this summer it seems like he’s been pushed away somewhat. He reportedly wanted to trade away Kirk Hinrich, but Reinsdorf said he would rather trade Ben Gordon, which seems more than likely now. Reinsdorf also pushed away Doug Collins, Paxson’s top choice to be the new head coach.

What does this mean for Ben Gordon? He seems to want the same money Deng is getting, but he’s unlikely to get it. He’s not an easy sign and trade, teams aren’t too high on small guards who can’t play defense. I think he accepts the tender offer and plays for the Bulls this season, then leaves next season. Or, he can go to Europe, which he has yet to rule out as a possibility. I can’t imagine he is very happy with the Bulls right now, I think we won’t be seeing too much of him in the next few years.

Dog Days

"It's so hot! Milk was a bad choice today!"
-Will Ferrell.

That's how I feel right now. It's hot, I'm lazy, and again haven't written in a while. Plus last time I got a compliment on my post (BWAH!?). I again returned to Indiana over the weekend and saw Step Brothers. I really enjoyed it, my friend complained it was retarded half the movie, then proceeded to laugh like crazy the last half hour. If you drop your expectations of anything remotely realistic, it's a hilarious movie. Don't bring your kids.

Do you care about the Olympics? I'm not sure I do. We have nothing to gain there. That said, US basketball better win. If we don't I'm going on official crusade to have the international rules of soccer completely changed to benefit America's soccer team. See how the rest of the world likes it when we #### with their sports.

I just witnessed Jay Mariotti calling the WNBA pillow fight a "full scale brawl". This is why no one respects Jay Mariotti.

I rip ESPN a lot, but I will give credit to Mike Wilbon on PTI. Met him at a Northwestern football game, he was a genuinely nice guy and a real sports fan. ESPN needs less blowhards and more shows like PTI.

Take the Peoria pitcher who beaned a fan to court. There are unwritten rules in sports fights, and one of the biggest ones is baseball's drop the bat and ball. You cannot bring those into a fight, it's not allowed. Too much damage can be done. Another big rule is that the fans be kept out of it. People should not fear a fight spilling over when they go to a ball game. I don't want to see the kid go to jail for a year, but he should receive a hefty fine and a year long suspension from major league baseball.

I'd like to see the White Sox get a back of the rotation starter before the deadline. Jose Contreras resembles a shoe in both facial appearance and pitching ability and Javier Vasquez cares too much about strikeouts to ever reach his potential. I call it a "Javi" when a pitcher gets ahead 0-2 in the count then throws 2 "please chase me" breaking balls and a high fastball to fill up the count. A walk usually ensues. Perhaps Brian Anderson plus a couple marginal prospects for Jarrod Washburn would work. Anderson's young, still has all the tools he had when he was a top prospect, and the Mariners would really appreciate someone eating Washburn's contract.

Manny Ramirez needs to calm the hell down. Your on a world series favorite, making obscene amounts of money, in a town that loves you, and in a solid clubhouse. If he doesn't someone should give him a complimentary prostate exam using their foot.

KFC's sauceless chicken wings were disappointing from start to finish.

Brett Favre should be allowed to compete for the Packers QB. I don't see how the Packers would be upset with that.

Women's deoderant commercials represent all things wrong with America. Try paying attention to Degree's "protection for every OMG moment" commercials or that other one where the women stops the cab then tells the guy she'd rather walk. I particularly dislike that woman.

Losing Posada really hurts the Yankees championship aspirations. World series winners tend to have good catchers and those that don't had dominating pitchers. I don't know how the 2002 Angels won, it would be like the Twins winning this year.

Why haven't Josh Smith, Emeka Okafor, Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, or Andre Iguodala been signed? This further proves how incompetent NBA GMs are.

Just once I would like to see a normal, somewhat intelligent bystander in a movie. One who notifies the police when they notice villains setting up for incredibly elaborate plots.

Remember kids, only you can keep down the number of polar bear attacks on the French. Please increase them. Good day.

Post 16

It's been a while since somebody has called me a stupid douche so that means it's time to write an article. Like the lyrics to Rihanna's songs, the things in this article are unrelated and may not even make sense. I'm just throwing things out there and hoping they sound good, which works well for her.

The WNBA fight was a complete joke. I happened to be flipping channels and caught the tail end of it and was in no way mortified when watching it. I coach a group of 9 year olds at a basketball day camp and that's the kind of fight I would have expected out of them. What the hell was the woman who threw Candace Parker doing? She looked like she was trying to shuffle over her, and I do mean shuffle because she never picked up her feet, and she got tackled. Then there was a little shoving and Lisa Leslie fell down. Did Mahorn give her a shove? Yeah, the kind of shove he would use to break up a pair of fighting 8-year olds. Then one of Leslie's teammates tooking a running punch at Mahorn and he didn't flinch. This is why no one respects the WNBA.

Brilliant move on Josh Childress's part. His signing on with a Greek team was not totally related to money, he's only getting a million more than the contract the Hawks were offering. It's not a 3-year contract either, he's opting out after this year. He's going to play a year in Greece for 7 million dollars, be worshipped there as the god of hair, and then return to the NBA as an unrestricted free agent. It was also an epic middle finger to Hawks management. Suckers got burned.

Speaking of burns, I enjoy USA's Burn Notice. Think House meets CSI: Miami. Kind of violent, sexy women, smart ass main character who's really good at what he does.

Say what you want about Ozzie Guillen, his outbursts tend to lead to positive results. His ejection in the 7th inning of today's game led to an 5 run 8th for the Sox and a comeback victory. It's the third or fourth time this year his outbursts have led to turnarounds.

I'm hoping to watch Cotto vs. Margarito this weekend. If it's half the disappointment De La Hoya/Mayweather was, I'm swearing off boxing.

Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs. I watched 5 minutes, felt less of a man for it, and turned on Iron Chef.

Don't look now, here come the Yankees. Not too hard to see them passing the Rays anymore and I'm glad that I went on record as not counting them out.

Professional sports should rule sub-.500 division winners out of the playoffs. The 3 best teams in the NL are in the Central division and I don't like that one of them will be golfing in October because the D'Backs won 80 games in baseball's worst division.

Josh Hamilton is the best pure baseball player I have ever seen. I witnessed his 430 foot bomb on Monday in person and I have been in a state of awe ever since.

The new Batman movie was fantastic, although I felt it could have benefitted from cutting out 20 minutes. I'm shocked nobody shot the Joker (no that isn't a spoiler). Wanted wasn't great but it was entertaining. It somehow managed to straddle the line between brilliant and completely retarded. Afterwards, I felt like somebody had just humped my brain.

Morgan Freeman should call the play-by-play for any important sporting event.

Like NBA's Summer League, this article was short, largely meaningless, and is now over.

NBA GM

NBA Free Agency has kicked off and so far I don't see any team making the leap. The 76ers signed Elton Brand to make them interesting in the East, but no better than the Cavs, Magic, or Pistons. They're still well behind the Celtics. The Clippers have a good starting five in Baron, Gordon, Thornton, Camby, and Kaman. It's going to be interesting to see the Rockets, Trail Blazers, Nuggets, and Clippers fight for the final 2 playoff spots out West. The Trail Blazers should get one of those spots with Aldridge, Oden, Roy, and Bayless, but they are also still very young and may fold under the pressure. The Rockets have T-Mac, the Nuggets have Iverson and Anthony, and the Clippers have the deepest starting 5. I would like the Rockets but who knows if T-Mac is sticking around?

Anyway, I was completely uninspired, as usual, by the moves made by NBA GMs. It is absolutley preposterous how bad the majority of these guys are at their jobs. So I decided to step in to John Paxson's shoes and come up with a game plan to build a winner.

Bulls plan:

1. Sign Luol Deng and Ben Gordon to qualifying offers. At this point, nobody has the cash to offer them significantly better money and they have little to no leverage. Unless the Warriors let Monta Ellis go, the Hawks let Josh Smith go, or the 76ers let Iguodala go, nobody can sign Deng or Gordon. And if one of those teams decides to spend their money on Deng or Gordon, fine. Take the RFA they passed on. As they stand, Gordon's qualifying offer is 6.4 million and Deng is being offered 4.4 million. I think it's funny that they passed on a combined 100 million dollars worth of contract and now will probably only get a combined 10.

2. It's time to make that splashy trade the Bulls have almost made for the last 5 years or so. They have 17 million in the expiring contracts of Deng, Gordon (qualifying offers are only 1 year), and Drew Gooden. They also have Hinrich and Noc who have sizable, but not unmovable, contracts. Then there are young guys like Noah, Sefolosha, and Thomas. That's too many assets not to make a deal. Here are the moves I would make if I were in John Paxson's shoes:

Bulls get: Derek Fisher, Lamar Odom, cash.
Lakers get: Kirk Hinrich, Andres Nocioni.

The Bulls get another scoring option, a good rebounder, and a guy who can play multiple position in Odom. Derek Fisher is a veteran presence and can tutor Derek Rose. The Bulls can go with a lot of different looks with Odom out on the floor and this tightens the rotation we have from 10 guys who need lots of minutes to 9. Doesn't sound like a lot but it is. The Lakers pull the trigger because they get a younger better PG who can defer to Kobe as well as the tough guy they desperately needed in the playoffs last year. Vujacic is annoying, not tough.

Bulls get: Carlos Boozer, Kyle Korver.
Jazz get: Rasheed Wallace, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, Joakim Noah.
Pistons get: Andrei Kirilienko, Marvin Williams, Salim Stoudamire.
Hawks get: Tayshuan Prince, Jazz 1st round pick, Pistons lottery protected 1st round pick in 2010.

There is so much going on in this trade so let me post the teams' new rotations:

Bulls- PG: Rose/Fisher, SG: Korver/Hughes, SF: Odom/Sefolosha, PF: Thomas/Gooden, C: Boozer/Gray.
Jazz- PG: Williams/Price, SG: Gordon/Brewer, SF: Deng/Harpring, PF: Wallace/Milsap, Okur/Noah.
Pistons- PG: Billups/Hunter, SG: Hamilton/Stuckey, SF: Williams/Hayes, PF: Kirilenko/Maxiel, C: McDyess/Samb.
Hawks- PG: Bibby/Law, SG: Johnson/Childress, SF: Prince/Childress/Smith, PF: Smith/Horford, C: Horford/Pachulia.

Why they do it:

Bulls- Finally a low post presence. Size and a shooter at SG. A true PG. A SF who can score and play multiple positions. Thomas playing in a system that maximizes his potential. Combine with a multiple position, defense guy like Thabo, a good bench post player like Gooden, and a championship vet like Fisher and you have a contender. The Bulls become a tougher more athletic version of a Jazz team that reached the Western Finals and Western Semis the last 2 years, only they have a legitimate third scoring option in Odom.

Jazz- Boozer is leaving in a year and you aren't one one of the top 3 championship contenders. With this deal you get a young nucleus as well as Wallace who can replace some of Boozer's production. The team is really no worse off for next year and much better off for the future. This team can shoot from anywhere on the floor and has hard-nose guys like Brewer and Harpring off the bench. A would-be contender out East, they unfortunately play in the West. They're a playoff team with a young nucleus and lots of cap flexibilty for the next few years.

Pistons- Time to blow this thing up. They just aren't a real championship team anymore. Wallace really was not prodcing at the level of a super-star (13 and 6), so getting a talent like Marvin Williams back is a big plus. If you don't plan on going for a title, there really isn't much of a reason to have Tayshaun Prince around. He's a glue and defense guy who can hit the open shot, but you wouldn't want him as your scoring option. Kirilenko can replace Sheed's numbers and may find a bit of a revival out East. They don't have a center, but they didn't before the deal.

Hawks- Williams is a good player but this team would have all the pieces for a championship. Prince is the lock-down defender and glue guy. Johnson is the elite scorer. Smith can change a game with his athleticism. Horford is a low post presence. Solid point play. Law, Childress, and Pachulia are solid off the bench. The team has a clear 8 man playoff rotation that Mike Woodson can't screw up. They also get late first round picks the next 2 years which they can package to move up.

Compare these Bulls to the world champion Celtics:
-The Bulls have a significantly superior PG.
-They have a poor man's version of Ray Allen. And next year, he may not even be that much poorer of a version.
-They get beat bad at SF. Odom played poorly in the Finals, while Pierce was excellent. Odom would again be the third option on the team, but I think the Bulls have a better low post presence, a strong perimeter threat in Kyle Korver, and a ballhandler who makes his teammates better. Kobe is a dominant scorer but he does not make his teammates any better.
- Garnett vs. Boozer in the post would be a great matchup. The Bulls would likely put Boozer on Garnett on the defensive end only because Thomas is too small to guard Garnett.
- Perkins has the polish, Tyrus has the energy. They don't play similarly but they benefit their teams about equally. I think with significant minutes and a good coaching system, Tyrus could become like Kenyon Martin circo '03-'04. That year K-Mart average 17 and 9.
-The current benches are about equal.

Not a bad matchup, eh? And before you say it won't happen, it's not my job to make it happen. It's my job to write moderately interesting sports related articles. Also, your probably right.

Wish List

CBS losing Billy Packer has me in a fantastic mood. Not as happy as had they promoted Gus Johnson to call the Final Four, I nearly lost control over my bodily functions during his call of Ohio State vs. Xavier 2 years ago, but still happy. It also got me thinking about other things I would like to see:

1. I want a jousting tournament at the Olympics. You select some people from all different events and you have them run at each other with modified javelins. Can you honestly tell me that you are uninterested in seeing Tyson Gay throwdown with Lithuania's top female weight-lifter? It's a classic matchup with speed vs. brawn and the gold is on the line.

2. Home announcers for every game. I like Hawk and DJ calling my White Sox games, and I understand that plenty of Cubs fans hate the two. Fine. Easy solution to remedy, each team brings their own announcers to a game and the game is simulcast on the same channel. Or in the case of Sox/Cubs on WGN and Comcast. It's not fair that in a big game or playoff game you have to listen to Joe Morgan, Joe Buck, Jon Lester, or Tim McCarver. There is only one great baseball announcer, Vin Sculley, and until he starts calling national games, I at least want guys on my side calling the game.

3. I want Matthew McConaughy to fly his plane into a mountain and I want Justin Timberlake to be on it. I don't understand why JT became a respected member of our society. He was part of the worst music phenomenon in the history of sound, is incompetent as an actor, and public undressed a woman. How Janet Jackson get blamed for the Super Bowl fiasco when it was Justin who ripped her booby armor off? I defy any man reading this to go out, rip a woman's shirt off, and have the audacity to blame her because she had nothing else on. Just don't be surprised when I don't bail you out of prison.

4. I want a penalty for "Action against the spirit of the game." This goes out to anything that while technically legal, would get you punched in the face on a playground. This includes: the Spurs playoff Hack-A-Shaq strategy, Wisconsin's players intentionally runnnig off sides on a kickoff in order to drain the clock 2 years ago, the intentional walk, and all things Terrell Owens. The penalties that would solve the aforementioned situations (in order): 2 free throws and the ball, a 15 yard penalty and no time run off the clock, runners on advancing an additional base as if the pitcher balked, and a swift kick to the back of the head.

5. I want Conference Showdowns in college football. It doesn't look like we'll be getting a playoff because college football makes too much money off non-games like the Peach Bowl. I whole-heartedly believe you can have an 8 team playoff and still have a bunch of other bowls because it's not like you'd be taking any of the meaning away from those bowls. Who cares who won the Alamo Bowl? But you've heard enough whining about a playoff, so here's something that's also fantastic: Conference Showdown. 2 Conferences, 2 games a team, and no more debates over whether it was tougher to be in the Pac-10 or Big 12. Each team plays one of the better teams in the conference and one of the lower teams in the conference. So next year we have the Big 12 vs. ACC, Pac-10 vs. Big East, and Big 10 vs. SEC. Each week would feature the top teams going at it. In one week you might see Ohio State/Florida, Michigan/Auburn, Wisconsin/Florida, Illinois/Tennessee, and Iowa/Georgia. The next week Texas/Virginia Tech, Oklahoma/Boston College, Florida State/Nebraska, Miami/Texas A&M, and triple-option Georgia Tech/ fun-n-gun Texas Tech. This would then be followed by West Virginia/USC and a left-over good matchups from the other two showdowns.

How's that for your typical blog? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?!?!?!

No More Billy Packer

Billy Packer is no longer with CBS, who will be replaced by studio analyst Clark Kellogg. Not sure if Kellogg will be the best final four announcer, but we can finally unmute our TVs next year.

Stephen A. Smith is Still Angry

Earlier today on the front page of ESPN.com, ESPN’s personalities analyze the Brett Favre situation. Pieces include a Gene Wojciechowski interview and a video of John Clayton. Also included is a headline titled “Watch: Stephen A. is Angry”. We already knew that, thanks. I encourage you to watch the video on ESPN, and watch how S.A.S. attempts to control himself at first, and fails.

Links and Music

I didn't pick the greatest tim to start a blog. It's one of the two major dead periods in sports, the first two weeks of February being the other, and there really isn't much to write about. That's why you see things like the Favre category on ESPN's bottomline or headlines like "Obama interested in Nascar sponsorship". Frankly it's the most brilliant political move I've seen in years. That's how a democrat reaches the redneck audience, with his face on Dale Jr.'s number 88. Anyway, this post doesn't really have a topic, it's got links, music I like, and really no sports relation. Looking back at that paragraph, I'm amazed that I got off-topic in a post that has no topic. Be impressed.

Links:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1761896
Powerthirst, the greatest energy drink ever and possibly my favorite video ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URjeS5-NaXY
The final scene from There Will Be Blood. Dramatic in context, hilarious out of context. I've taken to yelling "I DRINK YOU MILKSHAKE!" after dramatic sports moments. Very satisfying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy4zgCsgqyo
Mad TV spoof of Dane Cook. I think any one of my friends does a better impression, but kudos to Mad on coming up with the material. No if only they had a funny person to act it out.
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8331492
Jason Whitlock's latest article. I love the first line even if the rest is uninteresting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmahD_EbHY
Dmitri Martin who, along with Daniel Tosh, is my favorite comedian.
I tried to find a clip from a Cold Pizza I saw where Stephen A Smith stares at Skip Bayless like he's about to kill him and they quickly cut to commercial, but no such thing could be found.

Music-
I'm going through artists A-Z with songs that I like that you may not have. Name drop these songs and you will sound interesting to all who listen. Thank me later.
Alkaline Trio- "Help Me" If you like this one I also recommend "Calling All Skeletons".
Ben Folds Five- "Brick" These guys also did a cool cover of Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't S#!T".
Coldplay- "Violet Hill" Couldn't find a C I loved so I went with one of Coldplay's new ones. I think they're overrated (they may actually have a chance at being the defining band of this decade which terrifies me) but credit is due.
Dilated Peoples and Kanye West- "This Way" I love Kanye. His albums are great and he's kind of crazy. I'd like to see him team up with Diddy to try and resurrect Britney Spears. Remember I said that when MTV steals the idea this winter.
Eve 6- "Inside Out"
Foo Fighters- "Best of You" I know you have this song but pretend Sean Connery is singing. It's now a fantastic new song.
Gin Blossoms- "Hey Jealousy"
High Speed Scene- "The IROC-Z Song" This is off MVP 2005, the greatest baseball game ever made. I was sad to see the MVP franchise get liscensed out.
Incubus- "Nice to Know You" I think Incubus is underrated, they're one of those bands that XM loves but you'll never hear on regular radio.
Jimmy Eat World- "Sweetness"
K- I don't have anything that fits the somewhat unknown bill from a K artist. Yeah there's Kanye and the Killers, but you know them.
Less Than Jake- "The Science of Selling Yourself Short" It's skaa. Listening to skaa=interesting person.
Lucky Boys Confusion- "When Bad News Gets Worse" A second L to make up for no K.
Muse- "Knights of Cydonia" A Guitar Hero favorite.
Nine Days- "Story of a Girl"
Offspring- "Self Esteem" Noticing a lot of 90's music on here?
P- Same deal as K. I will shout out to anything Pink Floyd though.
Q- Nope
Reel Big Fish- "Our Live Album is Better Than Your Live Album" Skaa is happiness.
Streetlight Manifesto- "Everything Goes Numb" Great name for a band and a great album.
Savage- "Swing" To make up for no P.
Shinedown- "Heroes" To make up for no Q.
Third Eye Blind- "Third Eye Blind" Another album worth getting.
U- I can only find U2 and Usher. I am ashamed of the Usher part.
Verve- "Freshman" It's kind of depressing but whatever.
Warren Zevon- "Keep Me In Your Heart" Zevon wrote this after being given 6 months to live. Powerful but not sad.
X- Nothing. I refuse to recognize Xzibit.
Yellowcard- "Fighting" Off the Madden soundtrack.
Z-Again nothing. Way to go out with a bang. This articleis over. Unsatisfied? Me too.

A Cubs fan's reaction

My first reaction when I saw the breaking news on the bottom line of “SportsCenter” was disbelief. I had just read from an “insider” on ESPN that Harden would be auctioned off within the next few weeks to the highest bidder. After seeing what the Cubs gave up on July 8, 3 weeks before the deadline, I couldn’t believe it. The only two players in the deal from the Cubs’ side that I see playing a significant role on a Major league team are Eric Patterson and Sean Gallagher. Gallagher is not going to be a long reliever like Jeff claimed, but he will not be a frontline starter. The Orioles were looking to trade Brian Roberts in spring training to Chicago in return for a package built around Gallagher, so the A’s aren’t the only team that found promise with him. Murton could be a bottom of the order, spot starter in the future, but he has never lived up to the hype he got when coming from Boston in 2004. What I like about this deal is that Harden will be a Cub next year as well, assuming the Cubs pick up his option. I like the playoff rotation of Zambrano-Harden-Dempster-Lilly, assuming Harden stays healthy, and that’s a HUGE if. Gaudin is not a bad pick up, he is a pretty good reliever and is only 25. The Cubs needed to pick up a reliever who can take care of lefties, and, although a righty, Gaudin pitches well against left-handers.

Cubs Get Harden

Cubs get: Rich Harden, Chad Gaudin
As get: Sean Gallagher, Matt Murton, Erik Patterson, Josh Donaldson

Well done by Jim Hendry to pick up a potential front line starter in response to the Brewers acquisition of CC Sabathia. Harden is a gigantic improvement over Ted Lily as a member of a playoff rotation. Can Harden stay healthy in Chicago? Maybe, but everyone knows the Cubs history with starting pitchers.

(Edit: I confused 22 year old Sean Gallagher with 25 year old Sean Marshall. That makes the deal look better as Galllagher will probably improve a lot in those 3 years. If he pans out, and the Athletics rarely miss on these deals, it could be a fair trade.)

I don't like the fact that the As continue to crap out on their fans once the tradeline rolls around, however if they feel good about Gallagher it is defensible. The rest of the guys however are only bench players. It's risky to trade an ace with a year left for a prospect who might become an ace, but Harden is an injury risk in his own right. Decent deal for Oakland, great one for the Cubs.

National League Rankings

Sorry for not posting a contender/pretender post, I started to write it but I realized that nearly every team is a contender because it’s the NL, and it shouldn’t be too difficult to win the East or West. However, I’ve come up with a list ranking NL teams by their chances of reaching the World Series at this point. This is after the C.C. Sabathia trade.

1. Chicago Cubs (53-36)
2. Philadelphia Phillies (48-42)
3. Milwaukee Brewers (49-40)
4. Arizona Diamondbacks (44-45)
5. St. Louis Cardinals (50-40)
6. New York Mets (45-44)
7. Florida Marlins (46-43)
8. L.A. Dodgers (44-45)

I wouldn’t even count out the Rockies at this point. They are just 6.5 games out of a terrible NL West, and they are starting to show flashes of success. The Cardinals are so low on the list because they are in the Central, and I see the Brewers passing them.

If anyone still doubts Alfonso Soriano’s impact on the cubs, take a look at this: The Cubs are 32-17 with him, and 21-19 without.

The Bulls are one of the most interesting teams to follow this offseason in the NBA, because both Luol Deng and Ben Gordon are restricted free agents. John Paxson would love to keep Deng, apparently the Bulls still think he has all-star potential. They would love to trade Ben Gordon, however his value around the league is much less than Deng’s. Clearly, the Hinrich-Gordon-Deng combination will have to be broken up in some way, and I’d be surprised to see Deng and Gordon both on the team. I’m not sure how many low-post guys there are available, and I’m not sure I’d like to see the rumored Hinrich-Al Harrington trade to Golden State.

Discarded Thoughts

I recently returned home from Indiana so I now have to unload all the thoughts I had over the past 4 days.

Gary, Indiana may be the most depressing place on earth. On the way from the highway to the beach in Gary, I counted 4 strip clubs, 2 fireworks stands, and a hot dog joint. I was however surprised by how many people there had multiple teeth.

The Bulls should trade Luol Deng. I used to like him a lot more than Ben Gordon, but in an up-tempo offense where does he fit? Gordon will benefit from a lot more open looks when defenses have to collapse on Rose, but I don't think Deng will because he doesn't have the range. He doesn't run the floor well and his defense is average. Sorry Luol but I just don't see how you fit in with this team. I was considering a swap for Josh Smith (an RFA who can run, block shots, rebound, and aboslutely bring the room down) but he doesn't shoot that well and that would leave us with only Gordon to keep opponents honest on the perimeter. Maybe Jason Richardson? There has to be a SF who can shoot and run who is available.

Jason Varitek should remove himself from the all-star game. He is in fact the worst starting catcher in baseball. His OBP is about the same as AJ Pierzynski's batting average. There are guys who don't deserve to be starting (cough Alfonso Soriano cough cough) but no one else I saw who absolutely has no business being in the game.

John Danks and Jermaine Dye got screwed, bad time to have the initials JD. You can make it right by voting for Dye in the online vote though.

Federer vs. Nadal was a fantastic tennis match. That's coming from a guy who has never watched 5 consecutive minutes of tennis.

Rafa Nadal looks disturbingly similar to Dramatic Chipmunk.
Check it out yourself: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1764124

There were some unbelievable baseball games played this weekend. Great time to be a fan.

The Breweres acquistiton of CC Sabathia should knock the Cards out of the playoffs. He's a very good pitcher and I'm glad he's out of the AL Central.

I watched the Olympic trials this weekend and I thought of a few ways to spice the track events up.
1. In the 3000 m steeple chase they have one hurdle which is followed by a small pool of water. They should put a crocodile in the water. It would add an element of strategy to the race. Do you go first and try and beat the crocodile and take a big lead? Or do you wait and see if the croc takes out one of your competitors? Would the runners team up, beat the croc to death, then run a normal race? These are the questions.
2. Add swinging boulders to the speed walking race, like in MXC.
3. There should be an obstacle course event.
4. Michael Phelps's new nickname is "The Torso".

I'm going to bed now, good night.

Contender or Pretender?

With baseball at its halfway point, I felt it was time to bring out my favorite cliche. Let's play playoff Contender/Pretender for the AL. Hopefully Ben will write one on the NL.

Tampa Bay- Contender. The team has a great 1,2,3 in Kazmir, Shields, and Garza as well as a fantastic bullpen. They play solid D and have Dioner Navarro who suddenly morphed into a good catcher (teams with good catchers are almost always playoff threats). What worries me about this team is the lack of power. They only have 1 guy on pace to hit 30 and maybe another 3 more who will hit the 20 mark. One slump from a guy in the middle of the order, especially if that guy happens to be Longoria, and this team will not be able to score the 4 or 5 a game it needs. This team reminds me of the Twins of 2 years ago, who made the playoffs and swept the As in the first round.

Boston- Contender. You spend that kind of money not to contend for the playoffs. Papi's banged up (that's what happens when you get off the juice) and Varitek looks like he belongs in the Beer Leagues, but this is still on paper the best team in baseball. I think they end up taking the division.

New York- Contender. For anybody else I say pretender. Their lineup is too strong to be counted out. Their starting pitching is bad but if they can keep their ERAs around 4, the hitting will win games for them. I would love nothing more than to see this team flounder and miss the playoffs. Can you imagine it? Last home game of the year, the entire New York crowd chanting "Yankees Suck!", when suddenly they hear a thunderous boom coming from the skybox! It's Papa George Steinbrenner! He's in a wrestling costume that he stole from Ric Flair and the floppiness is almost too much. He sprints in, throws his son off the balcony, then gives the finger to everyone in the stadium! The crowd loves it, especially Vin Diesel who for some reason the camera zoomed in on. Hank is still alive, but he has been banished to Pittsburgh, where he takes over the team and runs it further into the groud. Sorry Pittsburgh.

Chicago- Conteder. The 3-7 hitters can all hit 30 HRs, the 8 hitter is batting .300, Swish and Orlando are coming around, and AJ is a great catcher. The bullpen is one of the best in the majors and Buehrle looks like an ace again. I worry about Vazquez and Contreras, who both look finished, and was worried that we couldn't manufacture runs. Up until last night when Dewayne Wise singled with two out, stole second, and Cabrera knocked him in to win the game. This team is rolling right now.

Minnesota-Contetnder. Are a bullpen and defense enough to get you to the playoffs? It looks like it could be that way with the Twins, who have terrible starting pitching and 2 players on pace to maybe hit 25 long balls. They do have timely hitting though and Justin Morneau could reach 130 RBIs. They will be in the race the whole way, but the odds that the have a seat when the music stops are slim.

Detroit- Pretender. No #%$@#&% way this team makes the playoffs. Magglio is hurting with the dreaded oblique strain, the pitching is awful, and they play bad defense. Why would you build a bomb squad when you play in Comerica park? The Tigers go .500 and have to be blown up a year from now, just like Justin Timberlake should be. Hear that JT, I want you out of the game, you have 1 year. Ready! GO!

Los Angeles of Anaheim- Contender. Vlad can still swing, Torrii Hunter is patrolling center, Chone Figgins sets the table, and someone else will step up at some point. I'd like to introduce the readers to Joe Saunders, the Angels pitcher who is 11-4 with a 3.06 ERA. He makes this a really strong rotation along with Lackey, Santana, Garland, and Weaver. They also have K-Rod who may break the single season saves record.

Oakland As- Pretender. Duchscherer, Eveland, and Smith have been pleasant surprises. Unfortunately the lineup is terrible. As the Duke comes back to earth and Harden has another inevitable injury, this team will begin to lose ground. The team built around OBP has four starters with OBPs below .330. The return of Frank Thomas and Chaves could help but this team looks like an overachiever right now.